Not gonna lie but...

I'm getting sick of natural hair blogs in general. Not any in particular. The undying obsession with having long hair and the whining to have the approval of men is just peeving me to death. In an attempt to be counter-cultural, I feel like a lot of women are sliding back into the perception of beauty as a virtue, something to strive for and develop. This kind of thing doesn't exist in the queer community and it intrigues me.

I'm going to quote Toni Morrison on this one:

“The concept of physical beauty as a virtue is one of the dumbest, most pernicious and destructive ideas of the western world, and we should have nothing to do with it.” Black is Beautiful is a “white idea turned inside out…Concentrating on whether we are beautiful is a way of measuring worth that is wholly trivial... and preoccupation with it is an irrevocable slavery of the senses.”

I'm not trying to claim nirvana or anything like that; but I'm over my hair. I'm over it. I accept it like I accept my knees, nose, fingers, toes, my bum and elbows. It's occurred to me that my hair doesn't require any more attention than other parts of my body; and to elevate it to the glory of my existence is just ludicrous to me. To devote hours of blog-reading to the maintenance of my hair to the point of over-information is nothing but a distraction from the development of actual virtue (whatever that is). It really is "just hair" to me now. My biology knows nothing about politics, what men and women think, and what style looks the cutest. My biology just "is". My biology just wants to "be".

So this blog will no longer be about my hair... because I'm over it. My life demands more meaningful occupations. I now completely understand why Najahface deleted her YouTube channel.

Wow

We've had some pretty balmy weather in the past couple o' days. It's been extremely hot and extremely humid. It was 32 degrees Celsius today and with humidity it was 42!

The only sentient being that was enjoying this weather was my hair. It's never stayed so soft and so moisturized for an entire day! I can't stop touching it.

A Major Setback

So, I had to take down my two-month old twists (which were just starting to lock) because my ever-present but normally benign eczema had been flaring up for the past month, leaving really disgusting and large flakes embedded in my twists. And in order for me to have the condition treated properly, it's best that I have loose hair (says the dermatologist). My twists were rather thick and so to apply my doses of cortisone cream I would need easier access to my trouble spots.

I'm not entirely saddened because who wants dreads with huge scalpy flakes embedded in them? No one? Thought so.

And in lieu of it all, my growth is astounding!
This is me after a good wash, deep condition, detangling, moisturizing, sealing, twisting, and twist out...

Masala Chai, an orgasm in a cup for spice lovers

I can never get enough of spiced ANYTHING. Here's my recipe for chai. This recipe contains cloves (which can be done without if you want. I heard somewhere that pregnant women should avoid large amounts of cloves in their diet. So mommies-to-be might want to either nix it or significantly reduce the quantity. I'm not a doctor; but ask yours!) =D

If you're entertaining, this'll make about 5 large cups... and probably 10 of those cute little tea cups with no handles (it's probably better for first timers in small quantities).... anyhow!!

**note... when i make this, i don't really measure things... you kind of just get the hang of it after a while. But if you've never made it before, you can start of with these measurements and make it more personal in time. Every Indian family has its own nuanced chai recipe. So there's no exact way to make it.

Masala Chai
(Masala = spice & Chai = tea/sweet tea with milk)

5 cups of water
1 and 1/2 tbsp of loose black tea leaves or 1 black tea bag (You can experiment with green tea and other dark teas if you're a thrill-seeker)
1 cup of cow's milk (or soy, or almond milk, even goat's milk!)
1/2 tbsp of cinnamon
1 tsp black pepper (yes, really!)
2 tsp of ground cardomon (or 3 seeds per cup)
2 tsp of ground nutmeg
28 cloves (or generally 14 cloves per 2 cups of water. It depends on your taste)
6-8 pieces of thinly sliced ginger root
1 tsp of vanilla extract ( I love how it adds flavour that just rolls over your tongue)
4 tbsp of brown sugar, or white sugar, or honey, or all of them mixed together! (to your taste!)

Stir constantly, and avoid covering the pot because it'll foam up. Bring all of these to a boil for 10-15 minutes. If you like it stronger, boil longer!

And to add my Jamdadian (Jamaican+Trinidadian) heritage to the mix, you can spike a shot of rum to each cup if you're looking for a good time! Oh lawd!

Ginger Tea

so very invigorating for the mind and body. Ginger tea can reduce the intensity of migraines, calm nausea (great for the pregnant ladies), reduce gas, aid digestion,

4 cups of water
6-8 slices of peeled ginger root
1 slice of an orange peel (about 5cm by 2cm?)
1 tsp. cinnamon
a dash of grated nutmeg
Brown sugar to taste

Boil all of the ingredients together for 10 minutes (at least) If you like your ginger tea strong, boil it longer.

Deux mois and labyrinths... minus Bowie

Friday will mark the second month in my locking exploit. I must say that the past month has particularly been difficult. Anxiety has been a close enemy of mine-- not just over the matter of my hair locking but over the school year that is ahead of me. This summer has brought a downpour of graces, involving me being awarded with two fellowships that will fully fund my grad program, and the offer of two jobs as a research assistant and teaching assistant. Of course, it would be logical to think that one is perfectly competent and fitting for possessing such status; but I can't help but be afraid that I might not meet my own standard, or the standard at which I am perceived by my faculty... or that I'll just plain fuck it all up. I'm trying to be positive, trying to tell myself that I am deserving of these rewards because of my five years of hard work at the undergraduate level, and trying to capture the negativity with self love. But it's so hard and too much to manage at times. There are moments when I feel so strong, motivated and eager to encounter the upcoming year. And there are other moments during which I feel so small, cowardly and meek. I can't let this anxiety stagnate me. That would be the worst thing for me to do. I have to keep going and take it slowly.

I walked the public labyrinth in downtown Toronto on Monday. It allowed me to transpose my anxiety into physicality, with kinetic energy, walking the winding path as if it were the depths of my twisted heart, walking through the mirages, past the trolls and through the murk of my feelings of inadequacy. I reached the center, which was so clearly defined in fixity, steadfastness and prominence. And as I stood in the flower of the labyrinth, I could see over all of the insidiously winding circuits that had led me to such a vantage point, knowing that it had been worth it all.

Interestingly, this all applies to my venture of locking my hair.

The labyrinth in Toronto Trinity Square Park

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